A Guide After Going Through a Break Up and How to Move On

mood-girl-bokeh-photography-sad-alone

“Pain is an investment, so invest wisely.”

First, I’m not someone who’s professional at giving relationship and break up advises. But yes, I’ve gone through a freshly baked break up. So before you start scrolling down, I’d like to make it clear that these are just things that I did for my own good. The reason I shared this on my blog is because people told me that it might help other women out there who’s going through a heartbreak and doesn’t know what to do with the pain that they are feeling because of confusion.

The things I shared below is seriously not easy to accomplish, I myself admit that it takes a huge amount of self-control and brain twisting before I got a hold of everything. But if you’ve landed on my blog, it means that you’ve already taken a step to move on. So applaud yourself for that!

Nothing is easy when it comes to dealing with a heartbreak, people have different ways on how to cope up with what happened, but it is possible to take control of the situation instead of letting the situation take control of your entire life.

You ventured the relationship with a strong will to make it work, now that it is broken, move on with as much strength as you used when you were still fighting for it, because right now, you’re fighting for yourself, for your peace of mind and for the right man who’s somewhere in your future.

If you are expecting to read negative things about my ex-boyfriend in this post to intensify your grudge to men, I’m sorry but you won’t find one. This will just be all about moving on.

  1. Allow yourself to complete grieve for your broken relationship.

You must accept the pain and the terrible emotions that you’re feeling right now, because you have to naturally let it out. Do not try to suppress the pain, let it out. If your outlet is to cry, then cry as much as you want, but do not forget that you are scheduled to cry only at night, when all of your daily responsibilities has been accomplished. It isn’t bad to cry yourself to sleep, as long as you get just the right amount of sleep to do what you have to do the next day.

If you feel like you want to shout into the void, but you can’t because you’re not home alone, here’s what you can do. Grab your fluffy pillow, press your face into it and shout your lungs out! Shout out loud and say the words that you want, but don’t forget to pause for a while before letting another one out. Do this for several times when you feel that your chest is about to explode because of the pent up emotions that you’ve been trying to hold back the whole day.

I myself had a schedule of crying, there are days that I know that I won’t be able to cry because I just don’t feel like it, or nothing really strong provoked me to cry. My best friend seriously laughed at me when she heard this schedule. She told me that this is the first time that she heard a woman plan her crying days.

I had those long, tedious day where I’d cry myself to sleep. It won’t fix the broken relationship, but it will make you feel more comfortable when you wake up the next morning. You will still feel the pain, but it stings less than the past days. Oh, and do not pity yourself for crying for countless nights, because your body obviously needs it. Remember this, you’re not a loser, you’re a fighter because you braved the pain!

  1. Avoid making decisions while you’re emotionally dead unstable.

If there’s something that you should really take into account when going through a break up is to not jump into any decision making. Girl, don’t expect your heart to function well when it’s literally gasping for air after a break up. You must be aware that these aggressiveness that you feel right now is temporary and by chance, can ruin your entire life.

This is the time where you should often remind yourself that your heart cannot be trusted, and that the mind has to take over. The only decision that you should trust and have right now after giving your best to thread that broken relationship with him is to move on. Replay that in your head over and over again. Do not stop until it sticks.

  1. Stop posting on your social media accounts for a while.

Girl, trust me, 99% of the people around you doesn’t give a damn about your break up. Only your feelings with those people whom you know will really care about it and that’s just 1% of the people in your life. Right now, you don’t need everyone, you only need those who know you, will guide you, and won’t allow you to do stupid things. Believe me, in your state of aggressiveness due to the impact of the break up, you might do something that you will regret later on.

I also want you to stop sharing everything on social media or sending a blast that you’re already single (i.e. The highlight that Facebook makes when you change in the About section of your profile), because the last thing that you want right now is to feel pressured because of all the questions from other people who don’t really know anything about your relationship when you were still together with your ex. It’s not healthy for you mentally and emotionally.

If you think that you can’t avoid the questions thrown at you from time to time and you’re starting to feel annoyed, you can just tell them that you don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know what kind of person will still insist on getting the juice out of you after what you just said. Only a person who doesn’t know how to respect someone’s privacy will want to get you talking.

  1. Avoid bar hopping, flirting with other men and finding a rebound.

I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to have fun with your friends, but set a hard limit for yourself and avoid places that may provoke you on doing something that won’t really help you in the long run and will just give you the temporary giddy feeling. He doesn’t care about you anymore, so there won’t be a light and shining armor to save you from whatever reverie or danger you may get caught up with. Start being responsible for your own safety.

You may find yourself craving for care and attention from someone to fill in the empty feeling that your ex was once giving you, that’s normal, but find those attention from people who really cares about you (i.e. Best friend, close family member), not from strangers or any man out there whom you’ve got no clear idea of what his true intentions are.  Rebound won’t fix your scar, it will lead to another unwanted scar and may even be bigger than what you already have.

Divert those insane activities in your head to your hobbies, sports, passion or whatever it is that will keep you away from those kind of places for the meantime and still make you occupied. If you still can’t stop yourself from bar hopping, answer this question, “Why do you want to go to the bar?” Yeah, you got that right, the answer is to have fun. Now answer this, “Why do people go to the bar?” Exactly! To have fun too! Now, do you think you can find your perfect soulmate in places similar to those? You will only meet and mingle with people with the same intention as yours when you stepped inside the door.

  1. Don’t blame yourself for the break up.

I’ve been there, done that and girl, it isn’t healthy to think that way if you’re trying to move on. First, you didn’t initiate the break up. Second, thinking that you should have done this or that won’t get him back, because as far as I know, most of the time, the person who decided to walk away from the relationship has already thought hard about it. So, if you already tried getting him back, there’s no point blaming yourself.

Always think about this, if a man loves you, he will stay with you no matter how difficult things can get, because when the time comes that you’re already husband and wife, he cannot just abandon you after taking an oath. So, if he leaves and never comes back, he’s not what you’ve been thinking of. He is not the man for you.

  1. Stop questioning yourself and stop searching for answers.

You lose energy that is supposedly allotted for yourself every time you try to look for patterns in your break up. No matter what his answer is, your mind will create its own acceptable reasons that contradict what he said because of the hope that you might be the one who’s right and he might just be losing his mind at the moment. Girl, stop and save yourself from digging your own misery.

The moment you stop questioning yourself, you’ll feel more open to take the moving on stage to the next level. Besides, he must not be thinking of the broken relationship by now. What in the world are you still doing with yourself and giving him the power over you? Right? So snap out of it! You’re not damaging him, you’re damaging yourself, big time.

  1. Do yourself a favor and clean up your social media account.

You already know the old routine of deleting photos and everything related to an ex-boyfriend after a break up. But here’s something that you might want to try for a change… Filter and delete the people that appears on your Newsfeed that remind you of your ex-boyfriend. In this generation, we tend to spend more time on social media in our free time, so to prevent you from moving on because you see the same faces that supports your ex, and are friends with your ex, and are not really your friends, delete them.

Another reason for doing this is to free yourself from wanting people to pity you or take your side because you’re the one who got left behind. It is also a way for you to completely be yourself without proving anyone, especially his friends that you’re the one who’s damaged and desperate for attention and validation. Let his friends be his people and stay his friends, because you have your own circle of people who will be by your side.

You don’t need circulating false rumors and people who take sides, when all they know is one side of the story. You also don’t need to drag your friends into believing you and hating your ex, because the broken relationship isn’t their doing, it’s you and your ex’s issue.

  1. Sister, stop playing the damn victim for a long time.

Victims are helpless and you’re not. If you want to move on, you have to play the doctor. You have to find the strength to cure yourself from the wounds. Even if an army of wonderful and loving people supports you to heal, they are powerless over you if you won’t help yourself to move on. You are the only one who can drag yourself into moving on. Don’t depend it on other people or, don’t blame anyone for not being able to completely understand your situation. You have to be very responsible for your emotions from now on.

  1. Learn to accept the break up while recovering from the pain one day at a time.

I found that the best way to actually move on is to go through the pain, wholeheartedly accept the break up, forgive yourself for all the things you should and shouldn’t have done, learn from it, then open yourself to peace, freedom, opportunities and continue living just the way he’s moving on with his life. Don’t get yourself left behind, pedal and keep yourself moving until you find your soul again. Learn to accept and forgive yourself and the person who hurt you. You’re not doing this for them, it’s for you.

Do not try to delete him from your life or wish that you’ve never met him, because reality speaking, he already took up that time and place in your life, because you voluntarily gave it to him. As Augustus Waters said in the movie The Fault in Our Stars, “You get to choose who hurt you.”

Let the memories stay, it will have its own treasure chest and will be locked away when you’re ready to focus on what’s ahead of you. You don’t have the power to time travel, but you have the power to pave the road you want without him.

  1. Go on a music therapy from the start until the final stage of moving on.

I created a break up playlist the moment I felt that he was about to finalize the break up and I listened to it for 3 weeks. When I felt sad and uneasy I drown myself with those deep songs and just let myself go with the flow of dreadful pain. While moving on and hearing those songs over and over again, you’ll feel bored and annoyed listening to the same songs every day, then you’ll feel that you want to change your playlist from sadness to a livelier list. This is the time where you’ll somehow feel that you’re finally tired of the pain and that you really want to just be happy again.

Your ears got tired of listening to the same songs because your heart is tired of feeling the unwanted things again and again. You can’t tolerate it anymore. When I found myself feeling bored with the songs on my mobile, I then realized that I am ready to change my entire playlist together with my life. I am ready to start listening to happy and upbeat music again, embrace the change and really move on.

  1. Read articles that will help you reinvent yourself.

I know you want to read articles on how to get your ex-boyfriend back, but refrain from doing it, because you should know by now that you already tried doing that and you failed. Don’t attempt on doing it again to save yourself some respect. Instead, read articles that will uplift and broaden your understanding of life and yourself as an individual.

Read motivational quotes when you feel like you cannot handle the break up. Read women empowerment stories and how they courageously went through their own heartbreaks. Avoid the relationship section of any website and unlike those relationship pages that you are following that once motivated you to keep on falling in love, because right now, all you want to do is teach yourself to fall out of love.

  1. Surrender everything to God.

This is something that really helped me move on. I went to the church when I was finally ready to talk to God. I apologized for my mistakes, thank him for all the blessings and really appreciated how He wrote this love story of mine. I told him how in pain, how confused and how incapable I was to handle my current situation. That I need His guidance in the foggy days of my life and that I cannot handle the pain myself anymore. I don’t want this pain from the heartbreak anymore because it’s too strong that it might ruin me.

This is the kind of pain that I have never encountered before and I want to completely surrender it to God. It took me all my strength and courage to accept what happened and I knew I needed His help. I prayed to God to take away the pain because I want to forgive myself and the person I once loved. I don’t want to hold hatred and anger. I don’t want to feel the desperation anymore. I simply want the pain to subside.

I offered God myself and surrendered all the negativity and pain that I was feeling that moment while I’m inside the church. This is the first time that I actually told myself that I give up on being strong, that I seriously need help. I want to be healed, that’s all that mattered to me.

After taking my time on sincerely talking to Him and after opening up myself to Him, I really felt relief in my chest the moment I got up from my kneeling position. When I walked outside the church, I felt like my entire being has been cleansed. This isn’t the first time that I prayed, I pray every night before I sleep, but this kind of spiritual time and connection with God is something I never thought I could receive.

  1. Transform your revenge to your ex into something that will benefit you.

I know you want to skin your ex and extract every ounce of his being to satisfy your anger, but even if you accomplish revenging yourself for what he did, you are still not getting him back and it won’t complete you. Instead of sitting there and going crazy over plotting a murder to your ex, transform that anger into something that will benefit you.

Use your anger to turn you into this beautiful being that you never thought you can be after he ruined your mascara. Make use of the quote of Coco Chanel, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” Girl, I cannot emphasize more, but you gotta put those energies to something that you will benefit, and not him, because leaving you is his version of what is beneficial to himself.

  1. Do the math with your moving on time and set an expiration date.

I personally do not believe in the 3 month rule. Everyone gets over a break up in their own way, some are fast and some take more than the said month. But most of the time, people don’t notice that they are no longer at that stage, that all of those moving on dramas are just in their head, and that they had already moved on without knowing it.

Just like a to-do list, mentally note down how much time do you really want to be imprisoned in this painful situation? Then set an expiration date. Now go through the painful hell of breaking down and getting your bed covered with your tears, but don’t forget to put an end to this one. Then, start refreshing your daily routine, redecorate your place to avoid remembering him. Unfollow him on all his social media accounts, because your stalking days must also have its expiration date. Delete his number from your brain not just in your phone and start being this gorgeous individual again.

When you create an actual schedule of moving on, you train your brain to stick with it, focus and do what has to be done properly. This isn’t easy, it takes a lot of motivation, but it is possible.

Imagine that your pain is a fairy tale, give it a story and end it in a way that will lead you to the new you. Tell this to yourself at the end of the page, “I am done with you and all the pain I’ve gone through, I love myself and I’m tired of giving you the power over me. I am now completely ready to move and I am closing this door behind me.”

  1. Don’t take the bait of false emotional need.

Don’t you dare go on a date when you haven’t completely moved on! If you go on a date while you haven’t put the past away, you will have this notion that you’re in love with this new guy, but the thing is, you’re just filtering the characters that you admired from your ex in him. In short, you don’t love the new guy, you’re just in love with the idea that he has the same interesting characters that you found from your ex. But in reality, you don’t accept this new guy as how he presented himself to you. Give yourself more time to be alone and just be friends with him. If you’ve really swept the new guy off his feet, he will wait for you.

  1. Be happy for him, because you once loved him.

If by chance you heard that he is already dating a new girl after a few days of your break up, be shocked, then reboot your entire system. Be happy for him and find your inner peace. It’s easier to naturally think good for someone else than suffer from wishing them negative things and holding hatred against them.

Your ex-boyfriend is also craving for attention from a woman just like the attention craving that you’ve gone through when he left you. The only difference is, you’re stronger because you want to fully be yourself again and heal from the pain before committing in a new relationship, but he couldn’t, because he surrenders himself to the circumstances.

If you know how your ex-boyfriend dealt with their past relationships, you already have an idea on what he will do after leaving you. You don’t need to imagine what he’s doing right now or whom he’s with, because you already know the answer. In that case, think of it this way, when he’s done with the new girl, he’ll do the same pattern again, because it satisfies his need. It’s not for the new woman, it’s for himself. You’re smart, use your logic, not your emotions.

Jumping from one relationship to another is not true love, its temporary self-satisfaction and that is something you need to avoid.

  1. Last but not the least…

Tell yourself this, “I forgive my past. I am not afraid to fall in love and get hurt again.”

 

If you have other ways on how to move on and if you want to share your story, please do comment down below! See you on my next blog! Thank you for stopping by! If you find this helpful or you know someone who needs to read this right now, please do share it…

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Thank You for Understanding Me Even If It’s Hurting You To Do So

Monthsary

I’m not one who’s very easy to love, but you didn’t leave me.

I know that sometimes I can be such a pain in the ass, or should I say most of the time, but you still manage to get a hold of every bad situation that comes between us. Sometimes I don’t even know what’s keeping you beside me, but I seriously don’t want to imagine life without you. So let’s just wave that thought.

You’ve always been there when my anxiety and depression attacks me, when I was moving on from something unbelievably crazy, when I play those random drama tantrums, when I am such a headache even if I’m already terribly sick and all the problems that I’ve been through. You took all those bullets, didn’t flinch, remained standing and never left my side. I didn’t know that there was a lost soldier in you and I could give you the Best Boyfriend Award for helping me in taking good care of our relationship if it existed.

I admit that loving a person like me is very challenging for you. We have common grounds that we totally enjoy and personalities that sometimes collide and devastate everything we’ve built. But here’s what I want you to always remember… Every inch of me will love you and try to work this relationship until our plans are successful. We will continue talking things out together no matter how painful it gets, because that’s what’s keeping us together up until now.

God is indeed a very good writer and I couldn’t be more grateful because he manages to write my story with a guy that will splash happiness to my entire being. He gave you a very special role in my life and I couldn’t feel more blessed to accept it. Now I’m sure that I can smile at every catastrophe that arises. Because you’re there.

Thank you for understanding me, all my stupidity and most of all, thank you for understanding me even if it’s hurting you to do so. Thank you for believing in me when it was the most impossible thing that I can do for myself. I’m sorry for my mistakes and I assure you that I will continue making more mistakes and I cannot promise not to hurt you, but I will always try to prevent it and make it up to you, like I always do. Come to think of it, I appreciate that you’re making it a profession in tolerating a girlfriend like me. Seriously.

Every monthsary you always ask me what I want to do, this month, this is my answer… Time flies, especially in our age, but let’s enjoy it and at the same time achieve our individual goals. I wish that when you look at me every day, you see your future with me…

I love you and cheers for more challenging yet awesome years together!

Relationship Starts with Finding a Potential Partner, Not Just Dating Someone Available

Relationship Starts with Finding a Potential Partner, Not Just Dating Someone Available

You must have experienced dating too many people but never got the chance to date the same person twice or more… Because the person you once dated already placed a boundary that ends there. No more return calls, emails or text messages, meaning to say, they are simply not interested in you.

Yeah, we’ve all been there, but some of us are not taking the effect seriously… Then they end up thinking that they are hopeless romantics even though there is still hope to change the scenario.

Now, let’s start getting to know you and your potential partner.

You should know what you want and don’t want from a partner. This is about all your preferences, what’s negotiable and what’s not. When dating someone, try to do some background check before you jump into asking someone to date you or before accepting an invitation, especially when you don’t have a common friend.

Don’t just date someone because they are available and you’re on a hunt. Date someone because you found something seriously interesting about the person besides the physical attributes and the common kindness that everyone has. Be reasonable.

Weight the personality of the person you’re interested in. We all have kindness, strength, weakness, cruelty and other traits, but in different percentages. What traits are you looking for that dominated other traits of your ideal partner?

Answering this question will prevent you from dating random people who will just end up in your dating history and add up to the burden of your failed attempts.

Do you have common grounds that you can build together? See if you have the same hobby or has a common interest in something such as food, places, movies, music, etc… From there, try to make the next date as an invitation to enjoy your hobbies together.

If you will use your common ground to date someone again, there is a higher chance that you will get that next date and the return calls. Because you both have absolutely something to talk about.

Don’t let circumstances beat the interest you have for your potential partner. People who are steadily dating someone, although not officially in a relationship may experience misunderstandings. But you shouldn’t let this be the reason to lose your potential partner, instead use the bad situation to know the person better.

Furthermore, don’t join the bandwagon of people who decides whether to stick into dating a person or not, just because something negative arose or from hearsay, then they became all emotional at the moment to jump into conclusions. Because you will surely risk losing your potential partner forever.

Is this the person you want to give everything without necessarily receiving anything? Love is more on voluntarily doing things for someone than receiving something for yourself.

If you find yourself feeling this to someone, maybe you’ve found your potential partner!

It’s about the potential connection that you can build with someone that will lead you both into a serious relationship. If you and the other person’s preferences somehow match or is workable, then you guys might have perfectly found each other!!!

Don’t waste time and effort on counting how many people you’ve dated. Because in the end, those numbers won’t matter. Try to find your potential partner, not just someone who’s available. Change the course of your love life.

Any advice from you reader???

50 Relationship Questions: Answered by Stephen and Diane

Vday

For the record, we answered this at the same night but in different places. We didn’t answer it together so there was some excitement of having the curiosity of what would be the other’s answers. We found the questions from Google, you can just type in “Relationship Questions” and a long list will appear, you just have to choose what you want to answer. We recommend that you guys add this to your indoor activity bucket list, because we discovered something really good about our relationship through answering these questions and we had a surprisingly fun conversation out of it!!! We believe that these questions are applicable to married couples as well…

If you and your love of your life happen to have answered the same questions, please do let us know, we don’t judge because every relationship is different from the other. There’s no right and wrong, that’s something you want to keep in mind while answering. Besides, your partner would be reading it, it’s the only thing you should be worried about if you don’t want to send the wrong signal. These questions are meant to create an interesting conversation for couples, not a dispute for an unwanted or an unacceptable answer.

  1. What was your first impression about your partner?

S: My first impression of her is “MASUNGIT”.

D: He’s the nerdy, handsome looking, quiet type of guy, but I was wrong with the nerdy part. He’s a very funny guy once he gets comfortable with you…

  1. What did you like or love about your partner?

S: I love everything about her that’s why I choose her.

D: He’s the only person who understands my strengths, weaknesses, good/bad habits, tantrums and mood swings and still loves every ounce of me…

  1. How did the relationship start?

S & D: It’s a very long story, but it all started when both of us finally admitted that we have feelings for each other for a long time… We just have different reasons not to confess earlier…

  1. Do you still like what you loved about your partner and why?

S: Yes, I still like a stubborn side of her.

D: I still love everything about Stephen and still loving every new things that I discover about him…

  1. Do you feel the same the way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship?

S: Yes, my love and feelings toward her never change.

D: No, I don’t feel the same anymore because the feeling elevated to a different level compared to the beginning of our relationship…

  1. Are you positively affecting each other’s life?

S: Yes, because both of us keeps improving in our life.

D: Yes, because he makes me a better person by bringing out the best in me… Sometimes I can do stuff I can’t imagine accomplishing because of him.

  1. Have you started to do something because of each other’s influence?

S: I’m starting to motivate myself to work hard for our future.

D: I started to be thriftier than all out when it comes to handling money because of him… I learned to stretch my budget wisely because he handles his finances really better than I do.

  1. How often do you laugh together?

S: We always laugh together because I always crack a joke and I also want her to be happy always.

D: We always find something amusing everyday to laugh and smile about unless we had a misunderstanding… Certainly that’s something we can’t laugh about but rather be sitting on.

  1. When was the last time you dreamt about your partner?

S: I would say I always have a “DEJAVU” moment with her.

D: I can’t remember the last time, but I think it was  2 months ago… I sleep like a dead person and my dreams are not very welcoming so it may take a while before I dream about the love of my life again…

  1. Do you like spending time with your partner’s friends and family?

S: I like spending time with them, I can easily blend in.

D: Yes, I do love spending time with them… Hopefully next year we can celebrate Christmas or New Year altogether…

  1. How often do you talk on the phone with your partner?

S: Not often, but we always talk through text and chat.

D: We always see each other every other day so we don’t normally talk over the phone, but instead we chat and text all the time when we’re not together. 

  1. How often do you think of your partner?

S: I always think of her.

D: I often think of him when I’m not busy doing anything, when a love song suddenly plays, when I am missing him (which happens all the time),  when I want to talk about something, but he’s not around, before I go to sleep at night, when I wake up in the morning, at lunch time, at dinner time, when he’s on the road and when I haven’t seen him in a couple of days…

  1. Do you smile when you relate something from your daily life with your partner?

S: Yes, I smile like an idiot.

D: We communicate a lot whether or not we’re together and it includes smiling at the random daily life topics in those 365 days.

  1. Can you recall the most romantic moment with this partner?

S: We have a lot of romantic moments, but the most romantic one is on MAY 18 2014.

D: It was the day when he finally asked me to be his partner in crime with a trembling voice and shaking hands…

  1. Do you get each other’s feeling without the need to say anything?

S: Yes, through our eyes and reaction because we know that our connection is so strong.

D: Yes. We understand each other even by just eye contact ,the shift of the head in different angles and through a nod…

  1. What was the best moment in your relationship so far? (Are you smiling while recalling that moment?)

S: The best moment in my relationship is to be with her.

D: For me the most romantic moment is the first kiss we had… It’s very unforgettable… And yes, I am smiling while typing this answer because I recall it…

  1. How do you show your love for each other?

S: We do a lot of cuddling time…

D: We talk about things when we have misunderstandings. No matter how we want to avoid talking (most of the time it’s me), we still try to calm down, drop our pride and listen to what the other has to say…

  1. When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?

S: I always say “I LOVE YOU or I LOVE YOU MORE” to her.

D: The last time was just few minutes ago… Seriously, no matter how cliché this could appear, we honestly say “I love you” to each other every waking day of our lives and before we go to sleep…

  1. Have you ever changed anything for your partner?

S: No, I want her to be herself.

D: He never asked me to change anything, I voluntarily change what I think can help keep our relationship healthy.

  1. How much do you think you understand your partner?

S: I would say that I understand her a lot.

D: I understand him 90% of the time and I don’t understand him 10% in situations when I only think about myself and my pride, meaning to say when I’m being a selfish and self centered person…

  1. Do you trust each other?

S: Yeah, we trust each other.

D: I trust him.

  1. Have you not let your partner do something just because you feel jealous or angry?

S: She knows what to do when I get jealous or angry.

D: I wouldn’t say that I haven’t even once, but I don’t remember the last time that I had a conversation with him where I asked him to do something because I was jealous, but certainly I say things I don’t mean when I’m angry but I apologize afterwards…

  1. How do you feel when others find your partner attractive?

S: Before, I easily get jealous but now I am proud of her.

D: I feel very proud and satisfied when someone else finds him very attractive! Because he is attractive!

  1. Do you feel jealous if your partner hangs out with a friend of the opposite sex?

S: No, I am always with her when she hangs out with a friend of opposite sex.

D: I don’t mind if he hangs out with other women, I’m confident enough that he will be looking for me when he’s feeling down or when he wants to celebrate his happiness. That’s more important to me…

  1. How serious are you both taking this relationship?

S: Very serious, we really want to be together.

D: I take it as if it’s the last relationship that I will ever have.

  1. Do you bring up arguments very often and why?

S: Not so often.

D: I bring up arguments most of the time, especially when it comes to decision making for our relationship. I like to keep the doors open for ideas before jumping into the final step of no return.

  1. Do you make sacrifices for your relationship?

S: I will make sacrifices for her and our relationship.

D: We make sacrifices in different ways and in different levels when the situation calls for it. We know how to bend when our relationship needs it. Our relationship isn’t immune to challenges…

  1. Have you ever apologized for what you’ve done wrong to your partner?

S: Yes, I apologized to her when I make mistakes.

D: I do most of the apologizing part of the relationship because I say things I don’t mean when I’m so mad and aggressive, and then I take it back afterwards. I’ve been working on that part of how I handle my anger and somehow we both see improvements…

  1. Do you forgive your partner’s mistakes easily?

S: Yes, I will talk to her and try to understand her.

D: It depends on the mistake and the impact it made, but we both know that after those unwanted scenarios, we will still forgive each other no matter what because we love each other and we want the relationship to last. He’s not perfect and forgiving his mistakes allows me to show that no greater thing can make me stop loving him.

  1. Do you throw temper easily for small mistakes of your partners?

S: No, I will understand and give her a chance.

D: I don’t throw temper easily for small mistakes, but when a large one comes, my temper rises to the extent of treating him with cold shoulders for a day. Then he visits me to talk and he settles his mistake with just a tight hug (always), then we start assessing the problem nicely this time.

  1. Do you respect each other’s beliefs?

S: Yes, that’s how a relationship work.

D: We have many similar beliefs and even if we have some differences, certainly we do respect it.

  1. Is it really necessary to know everything from your partner’s previous relationships?

S: No, I just care about our relationship.

D: It’s not necessary for me, but because I was born curious, we had previously talked about it. But we keep in mind that our relationship is different from the past ones so it’s just like telling a random fairytale when we had conversations about past partners we had.

  1. Do you believe in staying with this partner for a very long time or even forever?

S: I believe in that because I’d love to.

D: Yes, coming from past experiences, challenges that we encountered and with the things I learned about myself being with him. I believe we will work things out no matter how monstrous I can get when I’m bored which he fears a lot.

  1. How do you feel when your partner has to leave you for some time because of work or studying?

S: It sucks! I would definitely miss her so much!

D: This is what I always tell him when it comes to situations like this, “I hate this, but it’s for our future and for the ones we’re going to build, so let’s just have a peaceful alone time after all the busy days.”

  1. Will you say sorry to your partner even though it’s not your fault?

S: Yes, I will.

D: I don’t apologize when it’s not my fault, but Stephen apologizes to me even if it’s not his fault! It’s a guilty pleasure you know and I love it. But I always admit my mistake after the pleasure of seeing him take the fault.

  1. When was the last time you had an in-depth conversation with your partner?

S: We always had an in-depth conversation when it comes to our relationship.

D: The last time was on this year’s Christmas Eve.

  1. Are you keeping any secrets that you’re afraid of letting your partner know?

S: No, there’s no secret between us.

D: I’ve said everything that he deserves to know about. I’ve got no secrets to hide from him. He knows everything because I don’t want him to hear it from anybody else first other than me. And I don’t want my secrets to backfire our relationship so it’s good to have a clean slate and a worry free conscience. It makes future explanations more comfortable and easier.

  1. Do you feel that your partner accepts the way you are?

S: Yes.

D: Yes. He snuggles up with me even if I didn’t take a bath after my sick days.(But I don’t believe him when he says I still smell good.)  He puts up with all my drama night and unreasonable tantrums. He knows what could possibly be my problem when I’m having mood swings that I don’t even understand. There’s more than I can say…

  1. Have you seen each other at your best and worst?

S: Yes.

D: Yes, I’ve seen him at his best and worst and he has seen me in the same situation.

  1. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? Why?

S: No, because I really love her.

D: Cheating wasn’t in my relationship history and I never thought about cheating on him. I’m afraid that when karma strikes, its brutality is uncontrollable and unbearable.

  1. Have you ever thought about breaking up with your partner and why?

S: No, I love her so much.

D: I had those thoughts before, when there was a time when the odds are against us, but we waved it off and I dismissed the thought in my mind as well…

  1. Will you lie for the sake of your partner’s happiness and how do you define the line?

S: Yes, but I will also tell her the truth afterwards.

D: I will never lie for the sake of my partner’s happiness, he knows that I’m a person who’d rather tell the truth, no matter how it hurts rather than not being able to look him in the eyes because of hiding something. I know it hurts him sometimes, but it helps us to be more open to each other, to be more vocal and to be more understanding of one another.

  1. Are you in a relationship only because you enjoy the excitement or the feeling to be loved and cared about?

S: No, I want a relationship that will last long.

D: I’m in this relationship with him for all of the above mentioned.

  1. Does this partner make you forget the painful feeling of your previous relationships?

S: Yes.

D: Yes. He helped me forget the nightmares of the past, even if it was difficult for him.

  1. Do you look forward to your future with your partner?

S: Yes! With excitement!

D: Yes. I look very much forward to our future together. Just a couple more years… We just need to accomplish our plans.

  1. Have you thought about marrying your partner? (If you two have already married, do you remember why you had that thought of marrying your partner?)

S: Yes, I really want to marry her soon…

D: Yes. I have thought about saying yes to him when he asks for my hand.

  1. Are you willing to compromise your happiness in a successful relationship?

S: Yes.

D: Yes. I’m willing to compromise my happiness for the success of our relationship.

  1. When it comes to the future, do you and your partner have the same relationship goal?

S: Yes, we have the same relationship goal.

D: We talk about the future, we plan together, so we do have the same relationship goals. It takes two to tango…

  1. Are there more joyful moments than sad ones being together?

S: Yes, we always create our joyful moments.

D: For me, it’s 95% happy moments and 5% heartbreaking challenges.

  1. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

S: Yes, I would only choose her as my partner.

D: If I get reincarnated, I would pray to God to let me create a love story with Stephen over and over again.

 

100 Fun and Romantic Relationship Questions for Couples to Ask Their Partner Everyday

 

2Did you ever think of tickling your lover’s mind while you’re not together? Do you want to get more involved on your partner’s life in a fun way every day? Call or message them with these questions at random time of day!

My boyfriend and I listed some of the things we randomly ask and some of the things we thought of asking to each other every day. If you’ve already asked this entire question, don’t worry, you can ask it again some other day! Your partner will give you a different answer for sure! Trust us we’ve over used some of these questions. My favorite question is, “Why do you love me today than yesterday?” and his favorite questions is, “What made you smile today?” We always have a different answer every time we ask each other and it also reminds us of a certain moment of our day as well.

Even when you’re not together or you didn’t see your partner for a day, their answer to some of these questions will prompt them to search where you appeared in their day. They will always find an affectionate answer that will lead or connect to you along the conversation. We had fun making this list and we hope that this would somehow make your relationship conversations a little bit more fun than before.

  1. What made you smile today?
  2. Did you see or hear something that caught your interest today?
  3. Who told a joke that made you laugh out loud hours ago?
  4. How many times did I pass by your mind today? If you still remember…
  5. Did you ever think of wanting to kiss me in a specific time of your day?
  6. Did you realize something in your life today?
  7. Was there a moment where you just sat down and think of me until you had to resume what you were doing?
  8. Did you do something fun and crazy today? If yes, what is it and why did you do it?
  9. What were your thoughts while you were on your way to work?
  10. What were you thinking this morning while you were taking a bath?
  11. Did you forget to bring something with you awhile ago?
  12. What did you learn today?
  13. How do you picture me in your mind right now?
  14. Did you notice someone handsome/beautiful outside?
  15. What were you contemplating about the whole day?
  16. Why do you love me more today than yesterday?
  17. Did our future plans slip in your mind today?
  18. What were you thinking on your way home awhile ago?
  19. Did you thought about a new recreational activity for us next week?
  20. What song were you singing while you were taking a bath this morning?
  21. Why do you feel that you’re the luckiest boyfriend/girlfriend in the world today?
  22. Is there a place that you really wanted to visit with me today if you weren’t stuck doing that?
  23. What situations tested your patience to stay calm the whole day?
  24. Besides your officemates to whom did you got in touch with today?
  25. What food were you craving for the whole day?
  26. Did you have any moment where you went metal blocked today?
  27. Did you try something new today?
  28. Why do you love me today?
  29. How will you describe your day in one word?
  30. How did I make you happy today?
  31. We’re you thinking of asking me to cook something for you?
  32. Did you have any fantasy out of nowhere in your resting hours?
  33. What were you excited about today?
  34. What are you going to do to me the moment you see me later?
  35. What was the happiest part of your day?
  36. Did you bump or saw someone you’ve never talked to for a long time?
  37. Is there a topic change on what you and your friends are talking about?
  38. How did you motivate yourself to get up from bed this morning?
  39. What are you planning to do after dinner?
  40. Did you think of adding a new picture frame of us on your table when you glanced on the old one?
  41. Did you eat one of your comfort food today? Why?
  42. While reading/hearing my message/voice what do you feel?
  43. What did you shop for awhile ago?
  44. What’s the “Word of the Day” for you today?
  45. How many curses/bad words did you say today and why?
  46. Did you take a bath this morning even if you were in a rush?
  47. Were you thinking something naughty while I was in your mind?
  48. What do you consider as your achievement today?
  49. What are you going to do to me when you see me tomorrow?
  50. Do you have something to add to our bucket list?

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  1. What did you found sweet or cute about me today?
  2. Did your feelings for me become stronger today? Why?
  3. Whom did you make fun of today?
  4. How do you rate our relationship status right now?
  5. How many times did you change your outfit before you went out of the house?
  6. Who’s ass do you want kick tomorrow?
  7. Did you have an embarrassing moment today?
  8. Did you look at someone else’s specific body part today? If yes, which part and why?
  9. Do you believe that I love you more today than yesterday?
  10. Was your day very exhausting?
  11. Did our future marriage cross your mind today?
  12. Who would you consider the nicest person today?
  13. What was your activity the whole day?
  14. Did your Last Song Syndrome attack you today?
  15. What do you think did you really accomplish today while I’m not around playing jokes on you?
  16. How many times did you snooze your alarm this morning or should I guess?
  17. If you have teleportation powers today where would you take me?
  18. Did you reach your goals today?
  19. What were your random thoughts today?
  20. What was the first word, phrase or sentence that you said the moment you woke up this morning?
  21. Did you take a nap this afternoon while on a break?
  22. What are you most thankful for today?
  23. Why do you feel blessed today?
  24. What food do you want me to bring for you tomorrow?
  25. Who would you consider a bad person today?
  26. What do you think of yourself today?
  27. What were your thoughts that don’t concern any of your activity today?
  28. Were you confronted of a difficult decision making today?
  29. Were you in a situation that you needed to stand up for yourself today?
  30. If you were given a chance to see my face right now, which part would you touch first and why?
  31. At what time of day did you fart and how many times?
  32. Did you sing or hum a line of a song today? Which song?
  33. If someone told you that they saw me with someone today and you don’t know it, how would you react?
  34. If you have 3 wishes today what would it be?
  35. If you can be a superhero for today what will you do?
  36. Who do you miss the most today?
  37. Did you saw something inspiring within your day?
  38. Did you experience body pain today? If yes, which specific part?
  39. If you will turn someone into a cockroach today who would it be?
  40. Did you feel like your day passed by so fast or slow?
  41. What was the most difficult situation of your day?
  42. What is the status of your heart today?
  43. Did you manage to say a little prayer today?
  44. What would you complain about your day?
  45. What else would you like to do before the day ends?
  46. If you can change something today, what would it be and why?
  47. Would you prefer a rainy or sunny weather today?
  48. If you would punch someone several times inside your mind today who would it be?
  49. How long did it take you to find something to wear for today?
  50. What is your goal today?

 

You Complain

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You complain of how harsh I talk, but you never told me to shut up.

You complain about how my strong personality will lead me to getting hurt, but you never stopped encouraging me to fight back.

You complain when the food I cooked sometimes lack taste, but you still eat whatever I serve on the table.

You complain every time I stare at you too long without saying anything, but you still insist on asking why.

You complain that I always sleep late, but you stay up with me as long as you can.

You complain when I forget to remove the trash inside my bag, but you throw it anyway.

You complain when you get no answer after asking me what I really want to eat, but you buy anything under my favorite food list.

You complain when I don’t take a bath the whole day, but you still cuddle up with me.

You complain when I leave my table messy, but you organize it from time to time.

You complain when I ask you to go away when I’m mad, but you never left until we’re okay.

You complain on scattered money you see in my area, but you put it inside my wallet anyway.

You complain on how stubborn I am, but you always help me on getting what I want.

You complain about how I look like a panda on my dark eye circles, but you still remind me of putting cucumbers on my eyes once a week.

You complain about my pile of unlaundered clothes, but you see to it I get it done every week no matter how lazy I am.

You complain when I tell you that you don’t understand me, but you still want to hear everything that I will say.

You complain how much I drink coffee, but you still make a glass for me.

You complain why I should feel bad about non sense things, but you never get tired of cheering me up.

You complain when my hair looks messy, but you still tell me that I look great.

You complain that we’re going to be late, but you never told me to rush when getting myself ready.

You complain every time I ask you if my makeup looks good, but you tell me I’m still pretty without it.

You complain with my unreasonable tantrums, but you still put up with it.

You complain how hard headed I can get sometimes, but you still tolerate me.

You complain when I’m quiet the whole day, but you try your best to know if there’s a reason behind my silence.

You complain when I wear something sexy outside, but you still say that everything looks good on me.

You complain when I hurt you, but you still endure it.

You complain that I don’t take care of myself, but you don’t get tired worrying about me.

You complain but you never raised your voice at me.

You complain but leaving me never passed your mind.

You complain but you never thought of not loving me anymore.

You complain but you’re still with me.

You complain but you love me the most.

You complain but you don’t really mean it.

I know…

3

 

Healthy Relationship Advice

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We all go through happy days, challenging mornings and nights with misunderstandings, every relationship does. But that shouldn’t keep your relationship apart instead it should keep both of you closer to each other. My boyfriend and I have this habit of waiting until we’re already together before we share anything, from snacks, beverages, movie, the list goes on… This isn’t a mandatory thing that we talked about, it just came out naturally. The thought of waiting each other makes things exciting for both of us. This is one of our versions of a healthy relationship and listed below is our healthy advice for the lovely couples out there. We hope that you stay in love in this life time. Remember what F Scott Fitzgerald said? “There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.”

1

Infinite Appreciation

Don’t under estimate the power of the words, “Thank you!” Open your eyes and appreciate the little things that your partner does for you, even if he’s just picking you up at work every day or she’s trying to cook a delicious meal for you before you get home. The little things are harder to notice when you always compare your partner to what other people does for their relationship. Enviousness will drag your relationship down. Your relationship has its own wonders that others don’t same goes to many other relationships.

2

Damaging Curses

When you are mad at each other or having a very bad conversation, avoid throwing curses. It will only inflict more pain rather than solve the misunderstanding. Sometimes we’re too carried away with debating who’s right or who’s wrong, we forget that what has been said can never be taken back again. No matter how soft the muscles of our tongues are it will always cut like a knife. If you love your partner you don’t shout curses to him/her, instead think of another way on what you guys should do when one or both of you are angry to each other. This should work both ways so give a deeper thought on what will surely work and agreeable for the two of you. Curses or bad words doesn’t really have any importance unless you’re a witch or a wizard, but if neither of you is, well you’ll end up having another language that both of you will never understand, because it doesn’t have any meaning at all.

3

Powerful Apology

You might have already said millions of different sorry in your existence, but don’t get tired of using it as a mean to apologize for your mistake, especially to your love one. When you apologize, tell your partner that you will try your best to avoid it so it doesn’t happen again and when it does, he/she can remind you in a nice manner about what you once said. Lower down your pride even if you know that you are proven right in the argument. Here’s where the great first move matters the most (Not the traditional men does the first move idea), approach your partner, hug him/her and say your sincere apology. You don’t actually need to say anything afterwards, just feel the moment. I’m pretty sure neither one of you would want to risk opening a bad conversation on sweet moments like those. The issue will naturally reopen, but now with a lighter atmosphere from both of you. Then you can talk about it. Have you heard of the saying, “Do not go to sleep without clearing things up between you and your lover?” If you haven’t you should start chanting this in your mind when you just finished a fight with your lover. Trust me it works wonders in the relationship.

4

Promises are Treasures

Don’t make promises to your partner just because you’re happy or you’re very sad on a particular day. Promises are a precious gift that unwraps on its own when the right moment arrives. It is not something that should pressure any of you. Promises are made because it needs more time to accomplish it. These promises are not the once that come in gift boxes on Christmas or on your birthday. Promises happen when it achieves something great and it will choose its own special date in the calendar without you even planning it. Promises are different from goals. It’s more powerful than the things you want to achieve in a much deeper sense. It’s the summary of motivation that you had before you reach it, because promises drag effort along with it. Goals may only hurt you but promises can damage someone when not met.
5

Reasonable Expectations

You’re the one who knows your partner the most above all the people in his/her life. You probably already know your partner’s capabilities, talents, skills and most importantly, weaknesses. They show you their real personality that others don’t have a chance of seeing. You might not notice but when you’re expecting too much from your lover, you’re actually raising the bar for them to reach. If you’re going to do this please be sure that the height on which you leveled your bar is realistically achievable by your partner. Don’t push them beyond their limit because this will stress them out. We all believe that a certain thing we thought is attainable by our partner, but did you ever try to lend a hand for them to attain it or you were just a watcher all the time? Then you get disappointed when your expectations weren’t meant. This is how reasonable I would suggest you to be when it comes to setting those expectations. Think about your partner when you set expectations. Can your partner do it on his/her own or you should participate in achieving it?

6

Introduce Yourself

This is easier said than done for some people. I’ve heard stories from people who broke up telling me that they want to leave their partner because they seem like a different person from the one they knew. People evolve with time. They change depending on the experiences they accumulated for a certain period of time. Even their favorite food changes when they get addicted to a new one. Don’t expect your partner to instantly know everything without you voicing it out clearly. Talk about the recent things that you found out in yourself. Whatever it is that changed your perception of yourself, share it to your partner. This way you don’t end up being strangers and you don’t have any reason to tell your partner that you don’t know anything about him/her anymore.

7

Irreplaceable Time

When you bought something and broke it, you can replace it by buying the same one. Replacing things is easy, but it doesn’t apply when it comes to replacing time. You don’t visit a store to buy time. You always have time but where exactly are you using it? Don’t go by your day without giving time to your partner. You know what’s amazing about time you don’t need to be physically together to give your time. Similar to gifts, time can come in different sizes and you can make your own occasion. Here are simple things where you can show that you gave a little time to your partner every day. You might already be doing some of these though. Check if they arrive safely to their destination. Ask if they already had lunch. Remind them of things that you believe that they will surely forget to bring with them the next morning. Talk to him/her over the phone after eating dinner when you get home even if you need to do something afterwards. Don’t expect your partner to understand where you are spending your time, let them know because they are also wondering what you are doing when you’re not together. Not that they are jealous, but because they worry and care about you. Little efforts make big impressions.

8

Money Wise

I’m not saying be wise in spending your money, you already know that by now. Your parents must have lectured you about how to use your money when they caught you splurging on something unnecessary. What I mean here is be wiser than the money. Material things along with you will age, but memories will last a life time and will always be your companion. It’s as if pulling money from your wallet but using your memories. Avoid fighting about money, instead, talk about it ahead of time. If money starts to become one of your endless argument, both of you needs to sit down and talk about it, by talking, I mean without doing the math. Sometimes it’s not about the money, most of the time it’s lack of communication.

9

Flexibility Matters

Always be willing to adjust and work on your differences so it smoothly blends in your relationship. Accept the pain that comes along the way, if it’s not something that crushes your trust for each other, don’t go packing yourself and leave when things get rough. Try to cool down when things appear terrible. I know this is easier said than done, but letting a boiling situation to simmer down before deciding your next step will help your relationship. You get more time to think and less chances of regretting the action that you had taken when you give time to compose yourself. In being flexible you should also be a keen observer about your partner. Walk in front, behind or beside your partner but never in a far distance so you can see the changes and keep up with him/her in the same pace.

10

Timely Assessments

Once in awhile do relationship evaluations together with your partner. Talk about the things that had happened to your relationship and the struggles that you overcame together. Then ask questions that relates to “How are you?” in a more specific way. Here’s where you ask your partner if he/she have any concern that needs your approval or concerns that doesn’t make him/her happy. A heart-to-heart talk shouldn’t disappear from any relationship. Sometimes it’s all your relationship needs to tickle the heart once again. Doing evaluations like this will make your relationship brighter and fresher all the time. You would even encounter moments where you laugh at your silly relationship decisions together.

11

Reflection of You

Wherever you go, you will always be dragging your partner’s name with you. I don’t literally mean the surname change of the maiden. What I mean is, most of the time what you do with your life reflects to whom you’re in a relationship with. People don’t see you alone they also judge your special someone. When you’re in trouble and you asked help from someone else besides your partner, their first question would go like this, “Does (insert partner’s name) know what happened to you?” Yeah, I know we all get this question a lot. So from now on, be careful on your life decisions and crazy fantasies that play in your head. Because no matter how much you want to avoid it, what you do will always reflect to your partner. It’s as if being in a movie where an innocent girl get’s kidnapped by goons because her boyfriend is a gangster. The girl doesn’t get herself involve in any fight, but because he’s with someone who breaks the law, she automatically becomes part of it.

12

Share Experiences

Your relationship already has its own experiences, but there are still parts of you that you surely haven’t explored yet. The easiest and enjoyable way of doing this is trying to do the things that your partner does which you don’t seem to really like the most. Ironic isn’t it? But we found this very interesting because we end up having fun on each other’s reaction. I remembered trying a spicy noodle that he ordered for me to try in a Korean restaurant. I don’t like spicy food and it took him few minutes before he convinced me to dig in. My lips got red after trying the noodles and it was hilarious! I don’t know if I was going to get pissed off because he forced me to eat something that I don’t like or to just laugh at seeing him smile in front of me. After that we had stories to tell when a friend ask if I eat spicy food.

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We all have different things going on in our relationship. Our relationship differs from everyone else, but what we shared here is pertaining to general aspects of a relationship, so these things are obtainable. If you have other advice to share please do comment down below for other readers to see. We might not know but we may have just saved a relationship from tearing apart. We don’t know what is happening to their relationship but simple words of wisdom from other people might just shed a light to a dimming relationship. So your experience and advice matters. To openly end this blog, I would like to challenge you to do this, well if you are in a relationship, but if you’re single think about what you would tell your future lover.

14

A movie can replay the same story even after a century has ended, but your relationship can never be played back again. You can only experience it again if you go back to all the places that you’ve been and if you still remember the same exact words that you said. Make the most out of what you have. Give your best shot if you believe you’re with the person who is willing to walk on thorns with you no matter how painful it is.